The Aphorist

Party

2008-04-16T00:44:00.001+02:00

Never forget, you can't say "Bacchanalia" without saying "anal".

Anatomy

2007-12-07T15:59:00.000+01:00

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, said the fat molecule.

Low road

2007-12-07T15:57:00.000+01:00

O ye'll tak the high road, and I'll tak the low road, and I'll be in Scotland afore ye. Because on the low road we do things like put sugar in your petrol tank, and you never suspected a thing, you poor high-road sap.

Love

2007-12-07T15:55:00.000+01:00

Love means never having to say, "You'll be sorry".

Relatively speaking

2007-12-05T02:43:00.000+01:00

e = mc².

Ish.

Death

2007-12-04T01:08:00.000+01:00

Never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for some dead guy.

Pen

2007-12-04T01:05:00.000+01:00

The pen is mightier than the S-word.

Equality

2007-12-04T01:03:00.000+01:00

Two legs good, four legs delicious.

Stars

2007-12-03T17:42:00.001+01:00

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.

Tired

2007-12-03T01:07:00.001+01:00

A man who is tired of London should get checked for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Especially if it's been going on for a while.

Clubs

2007-12-03T01:05:00.001+01:00

I would not wish to join any club that would have me as a member, so why did I apply?

Music

2007-12-03T01:03:00.000+01:00

If music be the food of love, what do you call the love of food?

Time

2007-12-03T01:02:00.001+01:00

If you want to know the time, throw a rotting egg at a policeman, and then look at your watch.

Cities

2007-12-03T00:59:00.000+01:00

A man who is tired of London would possibly be less tired if he moved to say Edinburgh.

Politics

2007-12-03T00:54:00.001+01:00

If holding hostages at gunpoint for hours made a difference, it would be forbidden.

Opinion

2007-12-03T00:52:00.000+01:00

Do not ask a man for his opinion, for he might give it to you.