Anatomy

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, said the fat molecule.

Low road

O ye'll tak the high road, and I'll tak the low road, and I'll be in Scotland afore ye. Because on the low road we do things like put sugar in your petrol tank, and you never suspected a thing, you poor high-road sap.

Love

Love means never having to say, "You'll be sorry".

Relatively speaking

e = mc².

Ish.

Death

Never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for some dead guy.

Pen

The pen is mightier than the S-word.

Equality

Two legs good, four legs delicious.

Stars

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.

Tired

A man who is tired of London should get checked for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Especially if it's been going on for a while.

Clubs

I would not wish to join any club that would have me as a member, so why did I apply?

Music

If music be the food of love, what do you call the love of food?

Time

If you want to know the time, throw a rotting egg at a policeman, and then look at your watch.

Cities

A man who is tired of London would possibly be less tired if he moved to say Edinburgh.

Politics

If holding hostages at gunpoint for hours made a difference, it would be forbidden.

Opinion

Do not ask a man for his opinion, for he might give it to you.